Dustland Fairy Tales

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It’s Time to Retire the Airline Safety Briefing

“Ladies and gentleman, please pay attention to the following worthless rubbish.”

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For VICE: Trump Just Killed Mexican Craft Beer

Spent an evening with a Mex. City brewer. Surprise surprise, he’s not thrilled about America’s new President.

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Required Listening: The Struts

I’m allowed to love music, even if I’m epically hopeless at making it

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Build Temples In the Sky, Because Why TF Not

This is how all buildings (and life) should be done

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Testing Terrible Grocery Store Sushi in Mexico

I have committed to researching all facets of Mexican life. Or, at least those I feel like testing on a random tipsy whim.

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Stories from abroad by Malcolm Freberg. All the joy and scares and barely believable nonsense you can find after stepping out your front door, and some other written work besides. Gratuitous drinking mentions throughout.
Newest Posts

‘Manspreading’ Is Real & Should Be Punishable By Death

Definition: when a male spreads his legs to give ‘himself’ some extra room

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An Entire NYC Club Thought I Was A Waiter

A confusing, sad, and possibly lucrative situation

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The Worst Airbnb Review I’ve Ever Written

“Shrek farting on Beetlejuice’s fermenting loogies”

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Accidentally Sending Nudes To Strangers. As One Does.

Not my proudest moment

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2:00am Firefighting, All For A Cup Of Noodles

Toilet paper and toasters don’t mix

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  • Friends are for making you feel better about getting your shit kicked on #Survivor
  • Face when someone says, "oh, #Survivor, that's still on?"
  • There's a thing on TV in a bit. Watch it and cheer for this guy. #Survivor
  • I look like I smell terrible #Survivor
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