In Case I Don't See You... I cannot emphasize enough how little I thought about this The Fine Art of Purchasing Condoms I don’t care what age you are, buying rubbers is a tricky business. Sitting Next to a Cute Girl on an Airplane No one’s ever brushed their teeth faster. Bachelor Parties Are Not for Casual Conversation There are some things we simply shouldn’t speak of again. This is one of them. I’ma Be An Attractive Older Man Not something you hear everyday, I’ll admit. Accidental Racism with Kim Jong Uber Political correctness is overrated, but necessary. Motorcycle Culture is Weird And it just got (gloriously) weirder. Dating Apps Are Terrible. Related: I'm Terrible At Them. Fact: there’s an inverse correlation between a person’s IQ and their ability to take a selfie. Guessing At Restaurant Menus Doesn't Always Work When smiling and nodding goes wrong... Y'all Have Ruined My Hair It might be time for a chop. The Single Dumbest Question on Earth Nothing’s ever been dumber. Testing Terrible Grocery Store Sushi in Mexico I have committed to researching all facets of Mexican life. Or, at least those I feel like testing on a random tipsy whim. The 'Charming Quirks' of Mexican Apartments I've had worse, but not many. Quit Mocking White Girls - Mexico Has Starbucks, Too You think the ordering options in America are difficult? That's cute. Build Temples In the Sky, Because Why TF Not This is how all buildings (and life) should be done If You Don't Love Harry Potter, It's Not Going to Work Between Us I don't have many deal breakers when dating, but this is one of them I Read One Page of Kama Sutra, Because That's All I Needed -- but not for the reason I'd hope you'd think. A Highbrow Culinary Review of a Mexico City Hooters Things loved worldwide: beer, wings, and tiny orange shorts. I Tried to Use a Bidet. Emphasis on 'Tried'. Your fancy French ass shower does nothing for me. Guard Rails Ruin Everything Safety measures are for the weak Required Listening: The Struts I'm allowed to love music, even if I'm epically hopeless at making it Topless Beaches: A Beginner's Guide Tips & tricks to navigating this, honestly, really stressful situation Damn Near Everyone Tries to Sell Me Drugs It's not surprising, really Yoga and Seashells Make Me Violent 'Form over function' needs to be retired For VICE: Trump Just Killed Mexican Craft Beer Spent an evening with a Mex. City brewer. Surprise surprise, he's not thrilled about America's new President. My Dinner Was Infinite Toothpicks With a Side of Cockroaches Still trying to figure out if this is a traditional delicacy, or simply terrible rubbish On Very Nearly Dying, and the Value of Good Friends No, that's not an exaggeration. This is the story of my near-death experience in Belize. A Profound Belizian Bartender's Theory On Love Decisions were made, and judgment was levied Required Listening: Shamelessly Upbeat Indie Pop Don't worry, be happy Casual Conversations That Include The Word 'N****r' "Oh, you're American! You don't say that, huh?" I'm Intimidated By Kink Actresses This one gets weird... The Charming Randomness of Finding New Books My new favorite author was discovered via thievery These Dopey Chest Purses For Men Are an Atrocity Please, men of Earth, stop this foolishness. It's Time to Retire the Airline Safety Briefing "Ladies and gentleman, please pay attention to the following worthless rubbish." For EA: How Is Runescape Still A Thing? A love letter to my teenage obsession Cuba Pt. 1: I'm Sexually Attracted to Havana Can you be turned on by a city? Cuba Pt. 2: The Ups & Downs of Traveling Alone Solitude is nice, but not at night in dangerous back alleys Cuba Pt. 3: F*ck This, I'm Out Havana beat me into submission, and I ran away Very Important News: Vegan Refused Citizenship For Being 'Annoying' A Swiss town decided the left-winger had a "big mouth" The Best Haggling Technique Is Blatant Lying The truth is overrated "Don't Call Me Gringo You F**king Beaner" In C Minor There's a time to get angry about racism, and there's a time to play along We Might Need to Cut Guy Fieri Some Slack I want to hate him, but I just can't anymore. 2:00am Firefighting, All For A Cup Of Noodles Toilet paper and toasters don't mix Accidentally Sending Nudes To Strangers. As One Does. Not my proudest moment The Worst Airbnb Review I've Ever Written "Shrek farting on Beetlejuice’s fermenting loogies" An Entire NYC Club Thought I Was A Waiter A confusing, sad, and possibly lucrative situation 'Manspreading' Is Real & Should Be Punishable By Death Definition: when a male spreads his legs to give 'himself' some extra room On Making Video Game Fantasies Into Reality I have escaped the Matrix The Sketchy Resurrection Of My Beloved iPhone I love my phone more than you do yours Required Listening: The First xx Album, Because The New One Makes Me Sad One of my favorite bands ruined everything... Turns Out, Roasted Guinea Pig Is Delicious Delicious, yes. Enjoyable, no. Machu Picchu & The Selfie Culture That's Ruining It I'm going to rant about selfies again. Sorry I'm not sorry. How To Start A Fire In A Microwave This isn't a how-to guide... but it kind of is On Hippies, Medicinal Healing, Insecurity & Batman I enjoyed all the hippies but one... The Most American Meal Ever Is A Traditional Chilean Dish Chile does American food better than America Falling Down Hills In Vietnam & Valparaiso A chronicle of two wipeouts, one of which smelled awful Wooing The Barberess of Portsmouth About being both smooth AF and awkward AF Brief & Arrogant Thoughts On Turning 30 I'm old, but I'm happy A Volcano Taught Me I Need Remedial Potty Training Peeing all over myself at 10,000 feet Desperate Hangovers Call For Desperate Measures Pretty sure no one in Chile's ever pulled this move before... Cruises, While Awesome, Are Also Filthy Liars I admit that I'm an outlier case, but I still feel wronged My Family Does Holidays Better Than The Muslims The Frebergs do things a little differently... My Photography Skills Have Taken An Embarrassing Turn Is dying of shame an actual thing? This Is Why I Can't Have Nice Things Breaking expensive stuff is a way of life Astrology, Personality Tests & Deciding If That Girl Is Right For You Don't look to the stars for love advice; look on the internet The Trick Is Acting Like You've Been There Before A golden nugget of wisdom, told through the parable of a beer trip I've Found Either Drugs or a Human Liver Whatever it is, I shouldn't be keeping it... It's Official: I'm a Terrible American Tourist I committed blasphemy in Spain, and am (sort of) sorry The Spanish Gypsy Who Ruined My Love Of Walking Moroccan merchants are nothing compared to Spanish palm readers On Traveling In 'High-Risk' Areas Serious thoughts, for a change Defending The Brutality Of The Running Of The Bulls It's the least humane spectacle on Earth; here's why you should go Required Listening: Moody, Dark & Emo For The Nighttime Everyone's got a little goth kid in them Deep Thoughts On Gambling & The Idiocy Of Slot Machines Let's talk about my third-favorite vice That Time I Got Uncomfortably Excited About A French Renaissance Faire Not an exaggeration: favorite day ever My New Definition Of 'Home' Is Irish Pubs It's like a surrogate drunken family The Single Rudest Thing You Can Do In A Restaurant In which I act like an utter jackass There's Exactly One Redeeming Quality To Cricket Seriously, we could all learn something from the game Being Served A Dose Of 'Woke' In Urban Mexico A mile in their high heels, as it were The Drinking Trick That Ruined A South African Relationship Just destroying couples with liquor. NBD. For Thrillist: Terrible Advice On 'Survivor' Preparation If this strategy works out, I get 5% of your winnings 48 After 7.1: A Lesson Learned From Mexico City's Fatal Quake Your presence costs nothing, but means everything Required Listening: 'Sound of Silence' by Disturbed Leather + Bad Piercings + Simon & Garfunkel = Magic When Losing Your Passport Goes Perfect The best timed, ahem, accident ever
