When Losing Your Passport Goes Perfect The best timed, ahem, accident ever Required Listening: 'Sound of Silence' by Disturbed Leather + Bad Piercings + Simon & Garfunkel = Magic 48 After 7.1: A Lesson Learned From Mexico City's Fatal Quake Your presence costs nothing, but means everything For Thrillist: Terrible Advice On 'Survivor' Preparation If this strategy works out, I get 5% of your winnings The Drinking Trick That Ruined A South African Relationship Just destroying couples with liquor. NBD. Being Served A Dose Of 'Woke' In Urban Mexico A mile in their high heels, as it were There's Exactly One Redeeming Quality To Cricket Seriously, we could all learn something from the game The Single Rudest Thing You Can Do In A Restaurant In which I act like an utter jackass My New Definition Of 'Home' Is Irish Pubs It's like a surrogate drunken family That Time I Got Uncomfortably Excited About A French Renaissance Faire Not an exaggeration: favorite day ever Deep Thoughts On Gambling & The Idiocy Of Slot Machines Let's talk about my third-favorite vice Required Listening: Moody, Dark & Emo For The Nighttime Everyone's got a little goth kid in them Defending The Brutality Of The Running Of The Bulls It's the least humane spectacle on Earth; here's why you should go On Traveling In 'High-Risk' Areas Serious thoughts, for a change The Spanish Gypsy Who Ruined My Love Of Walking Moroccan merchants are nothing compared to Spanish palm readers It's Official: I'm a Terrible American Tourist I committed blasphemy in Spain, and am (sort of) sorry I've Found Either Drugs or a Human Liver Whatever it is, I shouldn't be keeping it... The Trick Is Acting Like You've Been There Before A golden nugget of wisdom, told through the parable of a beer trip Astrology, Personality Tests & Deciding If That Girl Is Right For You Don't look to the stars for love advice; look on the internet This Is Why I Can't Have Nice Things Breaking expensive stuff is a way of life My Photography Skills Have Taken An Embarrassing Turn Is dying of shame an actual thing? My Family Does Holidays Better Than The Muslims The Frebergs do things a little differently... Cruises, While Awesome, Are Also Filthy Liars I admit that I'm an outlier case, but I still feel wronged Desperate Hangovers Call For Desperate Measures Pretty sure no one in Chile's ever pulled this move before... A Volcano Taught Me I Need Remedial Potty Training Peeing all over myself at 10,000 feet Brief & Arrogant Thoughts On Turning 30 I'm old, but I'm happy Wooing The Barberess of Portsmouth About being both smooth AF and awkward AF Falling Down Hills In Vietnam & Valparaiso A chronicle of two wipeouts, one of which smelled awful The Most American Meal Ever Is A Traditional Chilean Dish Chile does American food better than America On Hippies, Medicinal Healing, Insecurity & Batman I enjoyed all the hippies but one... How To Start A Fire In A Microwave This isn't a how-to guide... but it kind of is Machu Picchu & The Selfie Culture That's Ruining It I'm going to rant about selfies again. Sorry I'm not sorry. Turns Out, Roasted Guinea Pig Is Delicious Delicious, yes. Enjoyable, no. Required Listening: The First xx Album, Because The New One Makes Me Sad One of my favorite bands ruined everything... The Sketchy Resurrection Of My Beloved iPhone I love my phone more than you do yours On Making Video Game Fantasies Into Reality I have escaped the Matrix 'Manspreading' Is Real & Should Be Punishable By Death Definition: when a male spreads his legs to give 'himself' some extra room An Entire NYC Club Thought I Was A Waiter A confusing, sad, and possibly lucrative situation The Worst Airbnb Review I've Ever Written "Shrek farting on Beetlejuice’s fermenting loogies" Accidentally Sending Nudes To Strangers. As One Does. Not my proudest moment 2:00am Firefighting, All For A Cup Of Noodles Toilet paper and toasters don't mix We Might Need to Cut Guy Fieri Some Slack I want to hate him, but I just can't anymore. "Don't Call Me Gringo You F**king Beaner" In C Minor There's a time to get angry about racism, and there's a time to play along The Best Haggling Technique Is Blatant Lying The truth is overrated Very Important News: Vegan Refused Citizenship For Being 'Annoying' A Swiss town decided the left-winger had a "big mouth" Cuba Pt. 3: F*ck This, I'm Out Havana beat me into submission, and I ran away Cuba Pt. 2: The Ups & Downs of Traveling Alone Solitude is nice, but not at night in dangerous back alleys Cuba Pt. 1: I'm Sexually Attracted to Havana Can you be turned on by a city? For EA: How Is Runescape Still A Thing? A love letter to my teenage obsession It's Time to Retire the Airline Safety Briefing "Ladies and gentleman, please pay attention to the following worthless rubbish." These Dopey Chest Purses For Men Are an Atrocity Please, men of Earth, stop this foolishness. The Charming Randomness of Finding New Books My new favorite author was discovered via thievery I'm Intimidated By Kink Actresses This one gets weird... Casual Conversations That Include The Word 'N****r' "Oh, you're American! You don't say that, huh?" Required Listening: Shamelessly Upbeat Indie Pop Don't worry, be happy A Profound Belizian Bartender's Theory On Love Decisions were made, and judgment was levied On Very Nearly Dying, and the Value of Good Friends No, that's not an exaggeration. This is the story of my near-death experience in Belize. My Dinner Was Infinite Toothpicks With a Side of Cockroaches Still trying to figure out if this is a traditional delicacy, or simply terrible rubbish For VICE: Trump Just Killed Mexican Craft Beer Spent an evening with a Mex. City brewer. Surprise surprise, he's not thrilled about America's new President. Yoga and Seashells Make Me Violent 'Form over function' needs to be retired Damn Near Everyone Tries to Sell Me Drugs It's not surprising, really Topless Beaches: A Beginner's Guide Tips & tricks to navigating this, honestly, really stressful situation Required Listening: The Struts I'm allowed to love music, even if I'm epically hopeless at making it Guard Rails Ruin Everything Safety measures are for the weak I Tried to Use a Bidet. Emphasis on 'Tried'. Your fancy French ass shower does nothing for me. A Highbrow Culinary Review of a Mexico City Hooters Things loved worldwide: beer, wings, and tiny orange shorts. I Read One Page of Kama Sutra, Because That's All I Needed -- but not for the reason I'd hope you'd think. If You Don't Love Harry Potter, It's Not Going to Work Between Us I don't have many deal breakers when dating, but this is one of them Build Temples In the Sky, Because Why TF Not This is how all buildings (and life) should be done Quit Mocking White Girls - Mexico Has Starbucks, Too You think the ordering options in America are difficult? That's cute. The 'Charming Quirks' of Mexican Apartments I've had worse, but not many. Testing Terrible Grocery Store Sushi in Mexico I have committed to researching all facets of Mexican life. Or, at least those I feel like testing on a random tipsy whim. The Single Dumbest Question on Earth Nothing’s ever been dumber. Y'all Have Ruined My Hair It might be time for a chop. Guessing At Restaurant Menus Doesn't Always Work When smiling and nodding goes wrong... Dating Apps Are Terrible. Related: I'm Terrible At Them. Fact: there’s an inverse correlation between a person’s IQ and their ability to take a selfie. Motorcycle Culture is Weird And it just got (gloriously) weirder. Accidental Racism with Kim Jong Uber Political correctness is overrated, but necessary. I’ma Be An Attractive Older Man Not something you hear everyday, I’ll admit. Bachelor Parties Are Not for Casual Conversation There are some things we simply shouldn’t speak of again. This is one of them. Sitting Next to a Cute Girl on an Airplane No one’s ever brushed their teeth faster. The Fine Art of Purchasing Condoms I don’t care what age you are, buying rubbers is a tricky business. In Case I Don't See You... I cannot emphasize enough how little I thought about this
