Guard Rails Ruin Everything

Safety measures are for the weak

Time To Read: 2 mins | November 19, 2016

I can’t be the first person who’s thought of this.

First off, consider Darwinism. Survival of the fittest. If you’re dumb enough to go running off the end of a cliff, well, the rest of your species appreciates your abstaining from the gene pool.

But giggling at your demise isn’t my main point. Do you realize that your inability to walk in a straight line ruins our chance to gaze in wonder and the spectacles of man and nature, because every epic view is ruined by your 21st century safety devices? If everyone was simply good at not falling off stuff, we could all explore the planet like adventurers of old. But because a few folks get nervous you’ll tumble over the side of something (much to the rest of our amusement), everything worth visiting is ruined by ropes and tape and signs that neuter the majesty of the planet’s most thrilling places.

… this next bit isn’t totally germaine to the above sentiment, but I realized it the other day and have nowhere else to put it, and it is tangentially related. So…

Stan Wall, owner of Wal-Mart, is the greatest civil rights activist of the modern era. One trip though his store is definitive proof that white people are not a master race.


photo: zipline station off the coast of isla mujeres. remind me to rant against ziplining soon.

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Malcolm Freberg
Malcolm Freberg
American writer living permanently on the road. Believes rye whiskey is superior to bourbon, Belle is the best Disney princess, and that selfie sticks should be snapped in half on sight. Hosted a travel documentary for AOL & played Survivor a few times.

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