I’ma Be An Attractive Older Man
Yet even though my diet consists of 50% Digiorno Rising Crust pizzas and 50% Knob Creek, I’m still very half decent looking – multiple mirrors and lighting conditions confirm it’s true. And that opinion, by the way, stands up even when I haven’t been drinking Knob Creek all morning.
So while I’m certainly sporting what’s known as a ‘dad bod’ these days, not all is lost. I just have to graduate to a slightly larger shirt size and boom: to the casual observer, I’m still a slim spring chicken.
The other thing working for me is Liam Neeson’s skull. I have the same one.
I only learned this recently, but apparently many women find Liam Neeson attractive. Go ahead, ask one near you; she won’t be fanning herself like you just mentioned Ryan Gosling or late ‘90s Nick Lachey, but I’d wager $10 she’ll agree that he’s a handsome gent.
Which is good for me. Go look at a profile shot, a side-view picture of Liam’s head. Notice that caveman-esque bulge where his eyebrows should be? I have the same thing.
My high school girlfriend’s one-eyed anatomy teacher (nominee for Best Description of a Human 2016) told me it’s called a sub-orbital margin, a relic of our Neanderthal past.
Though when you say it like that…